In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I was having a really difficult time letting go of the pain and offering forgiveness to my husband. I was doing a lot of work on me, attempting to better myself so that I could get my self-worth back but none of that mattered when the triggers surfaced. Then I started hearing this song by Country Artist Tim McGraw, Live Like You Were Dying. Each and every time I hear this song it causes me to reflect on my life. I think of all the things Id like to do in my lifetime and all the things that I take for granted. This particular song brings both joy and sorrow at the same time. As I reflected on my life and the way things were going I came to realize that my husband could be taken from me, or I from him, at any time. Did I really want our last memories of each other to be clouded by his past infidelities? The answer to that question was a resounding no! I soon realized that by refusing to forgive and to let go of the pain that I was hurting so many more people than me. My immediate family was suffering just as much as I was. Everyone around me was suffering because of my inability to let go of the hurts. I was finally able to see that my actions were just as selfish as his. Once I truly understood what my refusal to forgive could mean to my family it became much easier to let go of the pain and push the triggers aside. As time went on I was able to remember without crying and getting angry. Its a part of my life and I cant change it. Its something that my husband did to me that cant be changed. What was changed is how we related to each other and how we handled the hurts we inflict on each other. I was also reminded that God always shows us the way. He spoke to me through a country song and reminded me that life is short and we never know when our time will end. If youre withholding forgiveness and holding your pain close to your heart its time to let go because love cant go where there is no room. Live your life like today is your last live like you were dying. |
